Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The Crinklebottom Short

I thought I'd post with you all the opening paragraphs of my new contest piece which is being co-authored by two of my WDC friends. The opening section describes the main character and is (many) flaws.

Mr. Crinklebottom has a fat arse. Seriously it is huge. Even as a child, his behind was twice the size of every other kid his age. As a matter of fact, Mr. Crinklebottom's buttocks are so large his clothes must be specially tailored. His parents couldn't afford to purchase him tailored trousers, to cover his fat arse; they'd simply make him wear a burlap sack originally containing potatoes bought at the local market. The sack, tied around his waistline, hung like a burlap skirt down to the young Crinklebottom's swollen knees—doing little to create popularity with his peers.

Despite being fat arsed he still had room for more imperfections. If there’s a hole he’ll inevitably fall into it. If it’s a narrow hole the fire brigade will inevitably be called. Not from a friend, but from a construction worker who needs to use the hole. This ‘hole-magnetism’ as his parents used to call it has been with him his whole life. His psychiatrist, paid for by his dad, theorises that it’s because he was dropped, accidentally, in a hole by the midwife when he was first born.

To be fair to Mr. Crinklebottom, he is a very jolly chap. Despite the lack of friends or a loving family he is still very happy. He has a job at the nearby chair manufacturing plant and gets royalties from the saying ‘move your fat arse’. This isn’t because he’s optimistic, it’s because he’s rather stupid. Or, as his parents would say at dinner parties ‘academically challenged’.

It's got a different tone than I normally write with. I felt, along with my co-authors, that the slap in the face style works quite well. The style changes slightly when the main story starts; it's in a style which looks at what Crinklebottom is thinking in the third person. This allows the reader to get closer to the character whilst still being able to laugh at the sheer stupidity of the character.
There are a few types of co-authoring. The type we're using is that there is a lead author (me) and the co-authors read over what the leader writes and gives suggestions. The co-authors also provide vital support when the lead author is stuck and they also give plot ideas. Originally the opening paragraphs said 'Mr. Crinklebottom sucks.' But my co-authors suggested getting closer to the chacracter gave me a the first paragraph which I then altered and ran with.

Matt B


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